There has been an entire industry centered around the fact that women are clueless about men. We're reading all these tips in magazines and self-help books looking for a new sexual technique that will have him climbing the walls. Either that or it's some "expert" who tells you how men really think, which is nothing more than a vague generalization based on some cave man prototype. The truth is that men are not as complicated as we make them out to be. Here are a few simple steps that can help you to find a man:
1. Look attractive & approachable.
Men are visual creatures. I know it would be so nice if a man would look at a woman and say "Wow she has a huge intellect. I need to get with her ASAP!" but that's not the way it goes. Keep yourself looking nice. You don't have to get dressed like you're going out, but look appealing and feminine. Don't leave out the house with that stained shirt and sweat pants and keep your hair neat. That also goes for your attitude. Keep it at home along with the sweat pants and stained shirt. Try wearing a smile instead. You draw more flies with honey than vinegar.
2. Read a book.
One of the biggest complaints I hear from my male friends is how so many women are dumber than a bag of rocks. Get off of Facebook & Necole Bitchie's website for a little while and read a book. Become knowledgeable about something other than shopping and different types of weave. If you're beautiful and freaky, that's lovely but after the novelty of the sex wears off men get bored. If you can not stimulate their minds as much as you do their genitals you'll be dumped for a woman like me who knows these things. Pussy alone has never been enough to keep a man and nothing is going to change about that now, especially since women are giving it up like they make coupons for it. If you're not big on reading books, at least stay well informed on current events so that you'll have something to talk about other than Basketball Wives or your favorite position.
3. Learn how to cook.
I know it sounds cliche, but the way to a man's heart is truly through his stomach. It's just as true today as it was 100 years ago. Another complaint I've heard from men is that women these days don't like to or just don't know how to cook. Now I know that unlike 100 years ago that women are way busier and spend more time outside the home, but that is still no excuse to not know how to prepare a good meal. To a man, nothing says I love you better than a home cooked meal. Try it, especially if you live in a place where most women have that I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T attitude. Cooking for a man sends the message that you're nurturing and loving, something that all men desire from a woman. So go ahead and throw out those take out menus and replace it with an apron and a Magnalite pot.
4. Don't be afraid to be a freak.
Now lets not get it twisted. I said "freak" not "whore" or "slut". There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex and being good at it. It only becomes a problem for women in this society if you're enjoying it with multiple partners. If you're in a relationship with someone, don't be afraid to let your hair down and get loose. Let go of your inhibitions and don't be afraid to try new positions, role play, introduce food, or toys, etc. No one wants a woman who just lays on her back and doesn't do anything. You don't have to be in freak mode constantly. Denise LaSalle said it best: "be a lady in the streets/freaky in the bedroom". If you're challenged in this area refer to #2. The Joy of Sex is a good book on the matter. If the reason you're holding back in the bedroom is because of religious programming, then I don't know what to tell you. That's another blog for another day.
So basically, look good, read a book, learn to cook, and be a lady in streets but a freak and the bedroom. Men aren't complicated at all. I heard one say recently "Keep my stomach full and my nuts empty and I'm good". Lol. There's more too it than that, but these are the basics. If you get these down pat, along with some other things (like knowing when to shut the hell up) you'll be able to find and keep a good man.
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