Weight Release Journey - Veering Off the Path

I know some of you were really into my stories about me releasing all this excess weight, but you see what had happened was...

#1. I've been having medical problems and
#2. This bi-polar disorder thing has been rearing it's ugly head again.

Remember when I talked about how my weight would fluctuate 5-20 lbs.? Well I found out why. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. One day I was re-twisting my friend's hair and when I got up both of my ankles were swollen. I took my blood pressure and it was extremely low. I went to bed and when I woke up the following morning I was short of breathe and my heart was racing. This went on for several days before I went to the doctor and he ran test and low and behold, my thyroid was out of whack. He prescribed some medicine for me, but of course I didn't take it. I brought some kelp capsules and that has been really helping me with my thyroid, but it doesn't do much for my lack of motivation.

As far as the bi-polar disorder thing goes...one day I just woke up and I felt like crap. I didn't feel like exercising, I didn't want to go to work, and all those old cravings started to come back. I don't know what prompted it. Maybe I have a broken heart and don't realize it. Is that possible? Maybe my sudden urge for fitness was a response to my most recent failed relationship.

I thought I was doing everything right, and the depression just comes back and hits me like a ton of bricks. I started caring less and less about what I ate. I even got weak and ate some fried shrimp a couple of times. I've gained back all of the weight I lost plus some. I don't know what to do. It seems like every time I start making progress in my life I always find some kind of way to fuck it up. Meditation and yoga alone haven't done the job, so now I'm looking into hypnotherapy and past life regression therapy. I've been feeling way better since Spring has started and I have gotten back on the path. I'm exercising and eating right again, but this time I don't have a choice but to loose weight. I'm working on an album and I need to take pictures for my press kits. I seem to thrive under pressure, so knowing that I have to take pictures will make me not hit the snooze button when my alarm goes off in the morning. I will overcome this...I just need to get to the root of the problem.