I have been going through a spiritual awakening lately. I've been examining my life trying to figure out why is it that so many bad things have happened to me. At first I was finding myself about to begin another bout of depression when a friend of mine told me about something unrelated "Girl you gotta take lemons and make lemonade out of 'em." It was at that moment I started to realize that something good has come out of every bad situation I have experienced and that there were lessons I needed to learn for my spiritual growth. This is the first of four stories about some of the most devastating events in my life and how I was able to release my inner demons by finding the life lessons behind each occurrence.
Situation 1
Being bullied and outcast by my peers at a young age
I moved to a wretched little town in Louisiana called Baldwin when I was eight years old and from the moment I started school I was the subject of daily teasing, humiliation, and fighting. I was under constant attack because according to them I was either too black, too ugly, a nerd, a geek, and not fashionable enough for their taste. When my breast started developing at the age of 9 and I started wearing a bra it got really bad because the girls became more jealous than they already were and the boys were always trying to grab them. I literally fought my way through elementary and Jr. High school. I fought just as many boys as I did girls. It was like I was the most hated girl in the school, but I hadn't done anything to anyone and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until I busted a girl's head into a brick wall in the 7th grade that people started backing off, but even after that I had to whip her cousin's ass the next school year. High school was better. By then everyone knew that I was not to be messed with, but I was still isolated for the most part. Fortunately I was able to have a lasting relationship with one person that until this day is still one of my best friends (I only have 2).
Lessons Learned
The lessons I learned from being an outcast for so long is that people are always going to find something about you that they don't like, so I learned at a young age to march to the beat of my own drum, to not be a mindless sheep, and to not be concerned about other people's opinions. I realize now that the reason my peers didn't like me so much was because I embodied everything that society told them they were not and could never be. I grew up with both of my parents in the same home. Most of them are lucky if they know who their fathers are, much less have them living in the same household with their mother. I always made good grades and I am a voracious reader. They were jealous because of my grades and because I was a teacher favorite and they weren't. Being on the outside looking in also allowed me to not get caught up in the frivolity of mass consumerism so many people I went to school with and society in general get caught up in. I learned to define myself not by how much my outfit cost, but by what I believed to be true in my heart. I thank the people I went to school with for making an outcast out of me and bullying me. It forced me to look within for everything I needed and since I didn't have that many friends I had lots of time on my hands. As a result of all this free time I became really good at playing the trumpet, Tae Kwon Do and boxing too.
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